Bari and Cat Greenberg (aka Barigato & LadyCat of The Unusual Suspects filk band), includes a 12 page, full color insert with pictures and the lyrics of their original songs.
Includes unlimited streaming of Romancing the Filk: Adventures in Love & Life
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
ships out within 7 days
$14USDor more
about
Bari told Cat the tale of a hapless door-to-door salesman who tried to sell he and Kim a vacuum cleaner; and how their cat, Blackfoot, rather than running scared, actually attacked vacuum cleaners every time one was used. Cat said "You know, there's a song in there." Shortly afterward she texted him one of the choruses, suggesting the "Threes" parody and everything gelled. We're sure Kim was laughing the entire time.
lyrics
Deep into suburbia the salesman wanders in,
With his chimera vacuum heading for his next victim.
His appointment is at six o'clock; he knocks upon my door,
With visions of a big sale and with no clue what's in store.
Three things see no end: The salesman's droning pitch,
His apparent lack of brain cells, and the cat's impatient twitch.
He comes, attachments flying, as he puts on quite a show.
Who knew vacuums can blend daiquiris?
And who would want to know?
We thought he'd be half-hour at most, but he's oblivious,
While we grow hungry and annoyed at his brash tactlessness.
Three things never anger if you want to make the sale:
The man who buys, the wife who guides,
And the cat who'll see you fail.
Our brindle tabby ambles in, with paws as black as soot.
A lithe young tom still fully armed, and blithely named Blackfoot.
A prince of ‘Ailuro-dom,' known few cats half as bright.
The fearless urban predator mauls vacuum beasts on sight.
Of three things be wary: a salesman's practiced charm,
A cat's look of innocence, and a woman's sense of harm.
The salesman grins in triumph as he spots a perfect ‘in.'
He says, "I see you have a pet, perhaps I should begin,
To show the thing your cat will love, this handy grooming tool."
We laugh out loud and roll our eyes and think, "Who is this fool?"
Three things never trust in: the sale that's in the hat
The budget that you think they have, and the patience of the cat.
I say, "Sure go right ahead, if you want to make him mad."
The VROOM of his machine drowns out half of what I said.
Blackfoot arches, hisses, spits, his fur stands straight as well.
His bonny highness clearly faced the Vacuum Beast from Hell!
Three things a clever cat can sense before most fools will flinch:
The food can sound, how latches turn,
And the dope who flipped the switch.
Blackfoot springs onto his hand and quickly climbs his arm.
Claws slice through his shirt and skin with ‘Ginsu master' form.
The fool screams bloody murder as the cat leaps on his head.
My wife states with a sharp steel tone, "You hurt my babe, you're dead."
Three things are most perilous: A mom-cat guarding kits,
A cat who has been cornered, and the claws with which they hit.
We save our prince, the fool has learned this sale will not be made.
Try to not snicker too much as we get him some band-aids.
We say it's time for him to go ... he heartily agrees.
He grabs his precious vacuum bits and out the door he flees.
Three things trust above all else: The partner at your side,
Door to door sales are full of crap, and the feline sense of pride.
Cat Greenberg is a writer and singer/songwriter from the St. Louis, MO area where she lives with cats, a dog and her
youngest child, Aidan. Alone, With Friends is her first solo album. Her 2 previous albums are: Romancing the Filk, with her late husband, Bari, and Accidental Filk Band, with their band The Unusual Suspects. Cat also works with Canticles Productions (www.canticlesproductions.com) ...more
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